This section of the road is like sailing without a map. I don't know how big the tide will be, and I don't know whether I can successfully survive this disaster. But I know that I have to believe in myself first, and I have to go forward to know where this road will lead. It is inevitable to encounter setbacks. As long as I survive this catastrophe, I can become what I want.
From getting in touch with writing, gradually falling in love with it, and even becoming a writer many years later, step by step, I have become more dependent on writing, which is the biggest outlet for my emotional expression.
Seven years ago, I was a sophomore in college. At that time, I lived a drunken life every day. The focus of my life was drinking, singing at night, meeting new friends, and having fun day and night until a party with high school classmates. My words become more frank and direct due to the alcohol. "You are very talented, but why do you live your life like shit?" My friends looked me in the eyes and said, they all know that I have been writing and contributing since high school. But I didn't expect to develop in this direction in the future. I was encouraged that night and seemed to be moved. The next day I opened the fan page and wrote non-stop until today.
I just stepped into the society in 2019, and I knew that I couldn’t support myself by writing alone, so I found a job as a product salesman, wearing a suit and leather shoes, and combing my hair to attract customers in the World Trade Center. Yet, the more I did, the more I felt betraying my mind. One day, I was squatting in the smoking area after work, looking at the reflection in the floor-to-ceiling windows. “Why did I dress like this? Why do you look like this right now? The haggard me in front of myself was so far away from the brilliant self in my dream, I broke down and cried when I thought about it, and resolutely ended this short-term job. Then I applied for the art administration of a music company. For three months, I always thought that I could concentrate on creation after getting off work, but in fact, I dragged my tired body to take a bath and lie down after work, and could not concentrate on creation. Later, I found a part-time job, so I was able to get a little balance between making money and interests, and at that time I received an invitation from the publishing house.
After graduating, I changed four jobs in succession. My family was very worried, and I was often persuaded not to put writing in my life goals, just treat it as a hobby. But I knew very well that even if I gave up, I would still go back to this path in the end. I agree with what everyone said, there is no future, but I just like it. If I only thought about money at the beginning of this adventure, then I would not see anything. I try whenever I get the chance, leave if I don't like it. Perhaps I still don't know what I like, but I will always know what I do not like.
Whenever I mention the choice of this period of life, it reminds me of my first long-distance run in elementary school. There are many runners who run faster than me, and many who are resting. I don’t care how slow I am, I only know that I feel tired on the way. Never allow your footsteps to stop. The goal is too unknown and too painful. I choose to watch my left and right feet lift, because I know that one day I will reach my goal. Since there is no way to determine whether you are on the right path, then believe in yourself and practice towards the possibility. You must not stop and be confused, but keep thinking and moving forward.
Drinking coffee, enjoying the aroma of coffee with the quiet light outside the window, the stable life at this moment is the result of countless long nights. I am glad that my goal is always clear, and I will work hard if I can’t achieve it immediately. To move forward, until now can truly become a text creator who uses words to shake people's hearts.